But I Like Things The Way They Were....!!!

I recently spent a second 3-day stay in children's hospital with my son after a cold induced, serious asthma attack. This is all new to me as previous to one other incident, he has never been really sick let alone in the hospital.

After a meeting with the Pediatric Asthma Clinic and our GP, we have agreed upon a treatment plan that should avoid us staying at the ACH hotel again soon!

I realized after I got home with all this information and medication and the hows and whats to explain to my husband, I was angry! I don't want this for my kids (my younger son also has asthma) and I feel exasperated just trying to remember both of their health routines on top of the making lunches, brushing teeth, homework and all the rest.

With a little more thought I realized there were two things going on. I needed to grieve. Part of my anger was that I wanted it to be the way it was with my kids. Anyone would look after them, they required love but no special instructions or medication. I wanted to only think about the million other things when I was packing for a day trip or vacation and not have to add these new health items to the pile. Why, why, why?????! This anger and underlying sadness really surprised me and was quite intense until I gave it space to show up and dissipate.

The other part of my anger that was playing in was my top value of Freedom. With even just a few more things added to our regular routine my value or freedom was feeling squished. I love my kids, just never considered them to be high maintenance. My freedom was kicking and screaming in my head during most of our time at the hospital in the 10x10 room (it really is a great place with fabulous staff :)), and now off to all the follow up appointments and getting prescriptions.

So, how do I move forward and include or release my experiences in a constructive way? Well, my boys are old enough to take some of the responsibility themselves. They know that as part of the teeth brushing routine, there is medication that goes along with that. I also have asked my husband for assistance when packing that we buddy up to remember the medication. I am honouring my value of freedom by getting the medications right because then the incidents of asthma attacks are much less, as are the chances of going back the hospital. I am holding the intention that my boys will both grow out of this childhood issue and free from this and any other health afflictions very soon.

What are you hanging on to in the past that has changed? What do you need to do to catch up to how it is now? That may seems like a very large step in some cases. I guarantee you it will be worth the work to do it, so get on it!

Be well,
Aly