This is a simple, yet really powerful exercise that I use with my clients at the end of a year, a specific time period, end of a contract or after the accomplishment of a goal. I think we often go so fast in our lives, and even faster in our brains, that we miss the richest part of what we are to be noticing, celebrating and taking with us to out next tests and lessons life brings us. If I am truly being prepared for a larger role in this world, I might get there faster if I take the time to lock in what I have done over the last year.
This is a series of questions that come in no particular order. Just be sure to really take time to write and reflect and go deeper than your first 'in-your-head' response.
What are you celebrating about your life in 2008?
I love this question because once I start I just realize how much of my life is a gift. In fact, in light of a high school friend's death last week, my life itself is a gift. I am celebrating the success of my business. I began with two little boys and working 2.5 hours a day and I am now full time, certified twice and undergoing my third in Team and Relationship coaching. This is where I wanted to be back in the fall of 2006. I am celebrating my boys and my relationship with them, along with my marriage and fabulous husband. We have tremendous support from family and friends and live in an amazing community. I am so grateful for our church and roles I have the opportunity to play there.
I am celebrating my health and I love my body more and more every day. I am especially glad that my sister, diagnosed with Breast Cancer in May, is doing very well and staying the survivor side in her health.
I am celebrating revelation. I have had another great year of 'onion peeling' and a-ha moments that are such gifts for me in finding my personal journey so juicy. I think revelation is a beautiful way of being set free and flying a little higher each time.
Speaking of revelation, I am going to risk here and write it down. I am so incredibly grateful for the revelation of Jeff and I writing a book on relationship and elite performance success. It is huge calling forth for us as individuals and our marriage as we move from our family doing Jeff's big game, to us having our own HUGE game.
What is (are) your greatest learning(s) from 2008?
My greatest learnings were around relationship boundaries, food and emotions and fully honouring who I am. I mean a FULL ON extrovert when I say that.
I have learned that by putting anyone else's physical or emotional needs above mine on a continuous basis, I end up playing loose/win and it all falls apart. It does not matter how good my intentions were or what I was trying to create. Pretending I don't have boundaries that must be honoured in relationship is a recipe for disaster, some very hurt feelings and perhaps the end of a friendship.
Ego is a big monster that will never fully be fed. I need to do what ever it takes to stay conscious of my ego so it does not completely overtake me or a particular situation. Dr. Wayne Dyer describes ego as "Edging God Out". I completely agree.
I am about as extroverted as they come and although I knew that about myself, I dimmed down and ignored that part of me calling it 'self-management'. Well, that works sometimes but not most of the time for years upon years. This is who I am, how I was made, and I am going to stop apologizing for it.
I have learned that food is just a symptom of other things in my life.
My relationship with my husband goes to a whole new level when we have a big, juicy game to play.
What has been the impact of those learnings?
I know that being afraid of how another person might react in the moment is no reason for not fully showing up with the right intentions. I speak my truth in relationship more as I continue to unfold and show with boundaries.
I feel so at peace about really acknowledging my extrovert. I have noticed that peace in my eating habits with very little emotional eating. Seriously, years of my life make sense now!
I love noticing my ego. Just that awareness is so great because she is so funny in how much it is all about her and the lengths she will go to to be right about that!
I don't beat myself up for what I ate or did not. I look past that to what value is really feeling stepped on here and how can I honour that instead.
Jeff and I talk regularly about the book and how we will be together playing that game. I think it has brought huge purpose, excitement and drive to our marriage.
How will you put your new awareness into action in 2009?
I am doing more relationship check in's. You know, like temperature checks to find out how things are going and what needs to be paid attention to.
I am honouring my extrovert by doing video news and service leading at my church, as well as Team Coaching. This alone is a HUGE part of putting a balance to my emotional eating because as I said, it is not about the food.
I call out my ego when I notice it. Helps to ground me and get back to what is true in my heart.
I will be writing a book with Jeff!!
What are your goals for 2009?
I am going to complete my third certification in September (ORSCC).
Have website updated in text and photos.
Get 5 more relationship or team coaching clients
Jeff and I will have completed the book and have it ready for editing by September 2009.
Spend time with friends more (lunches) and LAUGH more often!
What is your dream for 2009?
We would love to take the speakers course by Jane Atkins and be booked for two gigs.
A publisher would hear about our book and want to take it on.
Two warm weather trips with a beach and water!
Have my sister be free of any cancer.
To be debt free and have a waiting list for clients.
I think that is it for now. There is always more to look for and learn from as I write and I hope the same goes for you. I wish you a safe, healthy and happy New Year. Farewell 2008, hello to 2009!!
Aly Pain, CPCC, ACC
InnerPiece Life & Relationship Coaching
ph. 403-246-2399 fx. 403-263-8790 www.alypain.com aly@alypain.com
"Success is not external shining in; it's internal radiating out"
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