Money Does Not Buy Happiness?

You may be shocked by the title of my blog. I mean I am sure that you and every other person from our generation has only heard our parents say that about a million times. Unfortunately, recent studies are showing we have not heard it enough because we still don't get it.

CBC did a study last year on How to Be Happy http://www.cbc.ca/doczone/howtobehappy/study.html. As much as there were many interesting facts, like Canada ranks third for overall wellness, there was one glaring point that stood out for me.

Over the last 50 years our wealth has increased three times. That is a staggering amount in a very short period of time if you think about it. The very sad fact that coincides with this information is that over that same 50 year period our overall happiness has not increased at all. Zip, Zilch, nadda, zero, not one bit. How is that possible?

Well, I think that 50 years ago living was very challenging as most people did not have enough money to even provide the basic living needs (survival needs) for themselves or their families. So, it is usually what we are missing that covet. I am quite sure that most everyone thought they would be happier with more money and that was likely very true. I see the strong correlation between money and happiness at that level and in that time.

But where are we now? We got past needing to provide for our basic needs and that felt really good. Well then, more money must bring more happiness right? Wrong. As soon as we passed the threshold of basic living, money ceases to be a sustainable source for happiness. Sure, money can provide certain luxuries and pay for some really fun vacations with great memories. But money will never be the unending fountain of happiness like we thought.

As the study says, we get used to what we have and then want more. Like an appetite that is insatiable it is eating our spirits alive. We are left feeling empty and lonely, depressed and angry with the life we thought would fill us. When will we finally understand we are looking in the wrong place?

The study also points out the importance of relationships. I agree that it is the value of our relationships, not necessarily the quantity, that will sustain us and be source of joy and happiness for a very long time (yes, all relationships require work too). I still think they are missing one point. My relationship with myself. This is the one that is truly never ending and can be a source of happiness beyond any other.

I am not saying we need to love ourselves and become narcissistic. I am saying that learning to love and know myself is all I need to be happy. When I know what experiences bring me joy and the most constructive ways to create those experiences, there is no end to the level of happiness in my life. Having this information is like having an eternal, internal compass that directs my every action and choice. This is what I look to for relationship help as well. Am I experiencing what I need to to feel happy? If not, how will I creatively (not though manipulation) negotiate those things into the relationship. I am hoping the other party(ies) would also want to negotiate what works for them.

Money is great, yes. But just like anything else, if we continue to think the source lies outside of ourselves, we are not heading down a good path. Can you imagine if in the next 50 years our wealth increases 5 times and we are still no happier?? Not if I have my way about it. It is one of the greatest reasons I am a Coach. What lies inside of each one of us is not only necessary for the longevity and prosperity of the world, but it is the key to our very own happiness.

Aly Pain, CPCC, ACC
InnerPiece Life & Relationship Coaching
ph. 403-246-2399 fx. 403-263-8790 www.alypain.com aly@alypain.com
"Success is not external shining in; it's internal radiating out"