Stop Complaining and Get Changing!

You may have noticed I did not post a blog last week and I am late posting this one too. The truth is I have been feeling pretty stuck a thought pattern and was thinking I could not possibly write about that. Oh no. I needed to write about something upbeat and positive or no one would want to read this. Well, I am over that now and on to being real, just like I as of you. So, indulge me a little as I write my thoughts and coach myself at the same time.

My husband is away a great deal in the winter time. This means I am seasonally the mom and the dad and house keeper and all the rest, along with Coach and business woman. Sounds a bit vitimy already doesn’t it? I know, and I hate it. So, I have been feeling really frustrated about how I am supposed to get everything done and not go crazy or get really sick because of not sleeping.

I know I spend too much time on e-mail. I have this perception that it is like a face-to-face conversation and when you send me a message, it is rude not to reply. I like that about me, but it is not serving me to stay in that context. I need to prioritize messages and only respond to those needing immediate attention on really busy days. If I get time to respond to the others great. But if after one week I have not responded, delete it and move on. I am truly shocked at the amount of emotional energy I give to my inbox.

Then there are times where my kids are home sick. The beauty of my business is that I can work from home on the phone and coach my clients that way. My kids are well aware that they can not interrupt me while I am on the phone. However, after a week of having sick kids I look around the house and see a disaster area and feel totally overwhelmed. Then my energy goes down and I start into destructive behaviours like carb binging and not sleeping enough, which I am sure you can see turns into a vicious cycle.

So maybe I can HAVE it all without needing to DO it all. I think outsourcing is a great idea at this stage for at least the house cleaning. Wow, just writing that statement my saboteurs are having a hay day about how lazy I am and incompetent about keeping a house. My mother made our house look like no one lived there, what is my problem? Well, my mother did not run a business as well and was a bit of a slave to the cleaning, neither of which I am aiming for. Pause….. OK, I have made that call to begin next Tuesday.

Saying No is a big part of what I need to do more of. When I think about what brings me the most joy in my business, I think of coaching my clients, speaking and writing my book. So, how exactly will I trim the other things out and do just that? Well, I am not sure but I do know having the awareness gives me a head start. I did some “NO”s this fall around positions I was offered to fill and that felt great. Since then, I have said yes to some things that were not in alignment with my top three activities. Pause….. OK, I have sent that e-mail.

What do you need to say No to in order to say Yes to the you that is, or is trying to emerge? What stops you from saying NO (or has you saying YES first!)? What might be possible if you said No to the things that were not at the top of your list (or outsourced them)?

I use the ‘what is, is’ policy to help me. Jeff is away for most of the winter for one more year. In that time I will be growing my business and honouring myself in doing so. I also have two amazing boys in my care that need my time and attention before and after school, as well as when they are home sick. Given those things that I hold as true, now what?

I am only taking on more relationship clients and limiting my total numbers. This is honouring the niche I feel so called to and making the time to sink into that. I will change my signature to read only Relationship and Team Coach Specialist. Pause……done.

I am feeling better already. I am still standing in inquiry and awareness; a place of child-like discovery where everything is assumed to be new. There is more here, but that will wait until next time.

Aly Pain, CPCC, ACC
InnerPiece Team & Relationship Coaching Specialist
Public Speaker and Emcee Extraordinaire
ph. 403-246-2399 fx. 403-263-8790 www.alypain.com aly@alypain.com
"Success is not external shining in; it's internal radiating out"