Burning Learnings for a New Year

Well, the day has arrived. It is December 31, 2008 and we are on the brink of ringing in new year. This is a day of reflection, celebration and anticipation for me and I am going to put it all in writing this year, right here. I hope you Take 2 and go through this process with me.

This is a simple, yet really powerful exercise that I use with my clients at the end of a year, a specific time period, end of a contract or after the accomplishment of a goal. I think we often go so fast in our lives, and even faster in our brains, that we miss the richest part of what we are to be noticing, celebrating and taking with us to out next tests and lessons life brings us. If I am truly being prepared for a larger role in this world, I might get there faster if I take the time to lock in what I have done over the last year.

This is a series of questions that come in no particular order. Just be sure to really take time to write and reflect and go deeper than your first 'in-your-head' response.

What are you celebrating about your life in 2008?

I love this question because once I start I just realize how much of my life is a gift. In fact, in light of a high school friend's death last week, my life itself is a gift. I am celebrating the success of my business. I began with two little boys and working 2.5 hours a day and I am now full time, certified twice and undergoing my third in Team and Relationship coaching. This is where I wanted to be back in the fall of 2006. I am celebrating my boys and my relationship with them, along with my marriage and fabulous husband. We have tremendous support from family and friends and live in an amazing community. I am so grateful for our church and roles I have the opportunity to play there.

I am celebrating my health and I love my body more and more every day. I am especially glad that my sister, diagnosed with Breast Cancer in May, is doing very well and staying the survivor side in her health.

I am celebrating revelation. I have had another great year of 'onion peeling' and a-ha moments that are such gifts for me in finding my personal journey so juicy. I think revelation is a beautiful way of being set free and flying a little higher each time.

Speaking of revelation, I am going to risk here and write it down. I am so incredibly grateful for the revelation of Jeff and I writing a book on relationship and elite performance success. It is huge calling forth for us as individuals and our marriage as we move from our family doing Jeff's big game, to us having our own HUGE game.

What is (are) your greatest learning(s) from 2008?

My greatest learnings were around relationship boundaries, food and emotions and fully honouring who I am. I mean a FULL ON extrovert when I say that.

I have learned that by putting anyone else's physical or emotional needs above mine on a continuous basis, I end up playing loose/win and it all falls apart. It does not matter how good my intentions were or what I was trying to create. Pretending I don't have boundaries that must be honoured in relationship is a recipe for disaster, some very hurt feelings and perhaps the end of a friendship.

Ego is a big monster that will never fully be fed. I need to do what ever it takes to stay conscious of my ego so it does not completely overtake me or a particular situation. Dr. Wayne Dyer describes ego as "Edging God Out". I completely agree.

I am about as extroverted as they come and although I knew that about myself, I dimmed down and ignored that part of me calling it 'self-management'. Well, that works sometimes but not most of the time for years upon years. This is who I am, how I was made, and I am going to stop apologizing for it.

I have learned that food is just a symptom of other things in my life.

My relationship with my husband goes to a whole new level when we have a big, juicy game to play.

What has been the impact of those learnings?

I know that being afraid of how another person might react in the moment is no reason for not fully showing up with the right intentions. I speak my truth in relationship more as I continue to unfold and show with boundaries.

I feel so at peace about really acknowledging my extrovert. I have noticed that peace in my eating habits with very little emotional eating. Seriously, years of my life make sense now!

I love noticing my ego. Just that awareness is so great because she is so funny in how much it is all about her and the lengths she will go to to be right about that!

I don't beat myself up for what I ate or did not. I look past that to what value is really feeling stepped on here and how can I honour that instead.

Jeff and I talk regularly about the book and how we will be together playing that game. I think it has brought huge purpose, excitement and drive to our marriage.

How will you put your new awareness into action in 2009?

I am doing more relationship check in's. You know, like temperature checks to find out how things are going and what needs to be paid attention to.

I am honouring my extrovert by doing video news and service leading at my church, as well as Team Coaching. This alone is a HUGE part of putting a balance to my emotional eating because as I said, it is not about the food.

I call out my ego when I notice it. Helps to ground me and get back to what is true in my heart.

I will be writing a book with Jeff!!

What are your goals for 2009?

I am going to complete my third certification in September (ORSCC).

Have website updated in text and photos.

Get 5 more relationship or team coaching clients

Jeff and I will have completed the book and have it ready for editing by September 2009.

Spend time with friends more (lunches) and LAUGH more often!

What is your dream for 2009?

We would love to take the speakers course by Jane Atkins and be booked for two gigs.

A publisher would hear about our book and want to take it on.

Two warm weather trips with a beach and water!

Have my sister be free of any cancer.

To be debt free and have a waiting list for clients.

I think that is it for now. There is always more to look for and learn from as I write and I hope the same goes for you. I wish you a safe, healthy and happy New Year. Farewell 2008, hello to 2009!!

Aly Pain, CPCC, ACC
InnerPiece Life & Relationship Coaching
ph. 403-246-2399 fx. 403-263-8790 www.alypain.com aly@alypain.com
"Success is not external shining in; it's internal radiating out"

Shovelling and Discovering

Here in Calgary we have all been shovelling an unusual amount of snow. I don't mean meters of it but it seems almost every day for a while there was enough to go out and find the sidewalk and driveway again.

I don't mind shovelling actually, even when it is really cold like the past few weeks. I am very particular so I like it to be done very soon after the snow has stopped (given that is in the daytime) or regularly during a long snow spell. I remember being the mom with the stroller and trying to get some fresh air during those long, snowy winters and feeling so frustrated at the people that made pushing a stroller very difficult because they did not shovel their walks.

Now as coach, I use a lot of metaphors. Even the ones that seem simple and corny have great value. Our language is so limited relative to our range of emotion and experience and metaphors really seem to bridge that gap. This time, I am using the metaphor of shovelling snow.

I think my life, mind, spirit and body are like my driveway and sidewalk. They need to be cleared of junk all year round. Sometime the layer of junk is thick and sometimes it is thin, just like the recent snow falls.

When the layer is thin, I even miss seeing it at first. Those are times when I need support, like my coach, to even see it before I slip on it and hurt myself. Or perhaps before others slip on it and get hurt just from trying to get close to me. Those layers can be tricky and I need to go slow and where 'grippy' shoes to clear that off.

When the layer is thick, I might need to take a few tries at it to get the job done. I need to be compassionate with myself and allow for some rest in order to avoid burn out while getting the job done. I might even need to ask for help if there seems too much to go it alone. This kind of job requires the right posture so I don't hurt myself in all the metaphorical lifting.

Then, there is the weather. There are times of year that clearing off my junk layers seems all too cold and I would rather stay inside where it is warm and comfortable. These times call for some extra layers of protection and calling me forth to go where it feels uncomfortable to get the job done. I might need support to get out in the cold every day, even when staying inside seems like a much better option.

This week I have been taking my extrovert insight (see my last post), and going outside with it. I am acknowledging the way I was made and asking to have dinner with friends and making it clear I will be continuing when Jeff is away again next month. I am keeping my space clear around that topic and being with people and experiencing freedom often, even when it seems the more difficult choice, because I know I feel better that way. I am so glad to have shovelled through that mess and got to the clear driveway, my insight, to enjoy my rewards. The most impactful has been around food. I have felt challenged with emotionally eating for years and although I have done extensive work around this, having the Extrovert Exponent has been truly freeing. It's like my body found peace. I am not hungry as often and am eating well without the anxiety of the process. Really profound for me.

If this season were a metaphor for your life, what would it be? Really lean in to your imagination and get creative. What action is it calling you to? Make comment and let me know. In the meantime, keep shovelling and discovering! Get the support and tools you need for the job and get going. You will reap rewards that last a lifetime, and you are worth it!

Merry Christmas,
Aly Pain, CPCC, ACC
InnerPiece Life & Relationship Coaching
aly@alypain.com www.alypain.com p. 403-246-2399 f. 403-263-8790

The Extrovert Exponent

I recently returned from a trip to Europe with my two boys to visit my husband. No, Jeff does not live over there. He is crazy enough to be a Skeleton athlete and travel extensively in the winter season to compete on the World Cup Circuit (see http://www.jeffpain.ca/ for more details). When Jeff is away for almost two months, our family does not do so well on all fronts. We had the opportunity to go over to visit for two weeks this year, so we took it.

After the first three or four days of strongly wanting to come home and not enjoying myself, I really starting asking myself what was going on. I mean there I was in Europe, travel that some people have never come close to,and I was having a terrible time. I had told Jeff I was loosing respect for myself as I noticed I was behaving like a stray dog hanging around his feet just waiting for any scraps of his time to be thrown my way. Jeff is a very committed athlete and during the competition season that commitment takes many hours of the day. We are all very clear this is not a family holiday or vacation. This is the opportunity to be together for a few meals and perhaps a few hours in the day. A lesser evil than being apart for two months straight.

Then the light went on. I am an extrovert. Not just a little, a lot! I recently completed a Myers-Briggs evaluation with a client I was working with and I scored a very clear, 30/30 on the extrovert scale. So, for a very clear extrovert to travel to a foreign country, with a foreign language, in a tiny village with less to do than at home, while staying in a very small but clean hotel with two children is my idea of insanity. I am alone with my kids most of the time with little other contact from adults. I love my kids and for the most part they are very well behaved. That is not it for me though and even when they are on their best behaviour having fun together, I feel totally trapped, isolated and alone, as if my brain is melting and my chest is caving in.

I always wondered if children are so important to me, why did I feel this way when I am with them so much? I am very clear that I love them so what was the deal? Now it all made sense. I had always known I felt better with someone else around when the boys were both home and very young. I would have other moms over or go their houses often for play dates and just feel so much more sane. Again I wondered, why is this so difficult for me? Then I would notice I was the mom I wanted to be (patient, creative, etc) when other adults were around and questioned whether I was pretending for image or ego. Nope. I really AM more sane with other adults around because I am an extreme extrovert!

Funny in all the personal development and coaching I have done, I have always extended understanding to introverts and their needs but never applied the same understanding to the extrovert side of the scale where I live. I am speaking of how introverts find it very emotionally tiring to be around other people for long periods of time and need to be alone or quiet to recharge. Never did I think that being alone for me feels like being tied up, gagged and extremely exhausted. That says a lot from someone with seemingly endless energy! I never had compassion for my extrovertness that needs to recharge around other adults and without that, I actually feel tightness in my chest, my whole body starts to shut down and I just want to sleep. In fact, for years after Jeff would leave on a long trip I would get a really bad cold AND need about 11 hours sleep every night to make it through. Hhhhmmm, I think my body has been trying to tell me something!!

The other thing I noticed is that when I am alone with my kids for a long time, I also do not experience freedom. Freedom is one of my top, have to have values. I can be alone and happy, as long as I feel freedom. If I am with my boys for a long time with Jeff away, I better have some adult company to help my extrovert or things get really off center.

I realize now how much more I need to honour my extrovert and how shut down I get in the winter seasons with Jeff away (only 14 more months to go by the way!!). My first idea is having friends over for dinner. Doesn't need to be fancy and we all need to eat. Thanks Jillian for doing that with us tonight. I already feel more 'normal'.

This is a perfect example to me of how simple things can be. When I stop trying to psycho analyse myself, get coaching or coach myself, the answer was so clear and so simple. It was like I was pretending not to know a fundamental and fantastic characteristic about me and turn it all into some problem to be solved. What are you pretending not to know right now? What is possible if you stop resisting and work with what is?

Look out everyone!! The Extrovert Exponent has been released!

Gross National Happiness

I am still reflecting on all I heard at the International Coaches Conference in Montreal a few weeks ago. There was one piece I found so fascinating I have been researching it on line.

Did you know there is a country in our world that actually measures the condition of the country on the happiness of its people (GNH)?? That's right, you read it correctly. They do not measure the well-being of the country on how much money it has or makes or in how many industries or factories employing hundreds or thousands at sub-standard wages in horrible working conditions or by rate of consumption of resources.

The Kingdom of Bhutan is changing the way we a globe define progress on little bit at a time and the big boys are standing up and taking notice. The Kingdom of Bhutan (IPA: /buˈtɑːn/) is a landlocked nation in South Asia. It is located amid the eastern end of the Himalaya Mountains and is bordered to the south, east and west by India and to the north by the Tibet Autonomous Region of the People's Republic of China. Bhutan is separated from Nepal by the Indian state of Sikkim. The Bhutanese call their country Druk Yul which means "Land of the Thunder Dragon".[2] Gross National Happiness (GNH) is an attempt to define quality of life in more holistic and psychological terms than Gross National Product used by many other countries. The term was coined by Bhutan's former king in 1972 in response to criticism of a poorly growing economy. Developing and implementing the GNH index was the beginning of creating an economy based on the unique culture and values of the people of Bhutan and it is the current guide for all economic and development plans of the country.

Well, that is all good and well, but how do we begin to measure such a thing, this GNH? Many of the once and still critics of this system still believe that is it far too subjective to actually work. In my research I found the seven metric measures of socioeconomic development, including the nation's mental and emotional health.[2]

1. Economic Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of economic metrics such as consumer debt, average income to consumer price index ratio and income distribution
2. Environmental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of environmental metrics such as pollution, noise and traffic
3. Physical Wellness: Indicated via statistical measurement of physical health metrics such as severe illnesses
4. Mental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of mental health metrics such as usage of antidepressants and rise or decline of psychotherapy patients
5. Workplace Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of labor metrics such as jobless claims, job change, workplace complaints and lawsuits
6. Social Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of social metrics such as discrimination, safety, divorce rates, complaints of domestic conflicts and family lawsuits, public lawsuits, crime rates
7. Political Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of political metrics such as the quality of local democracy, individual freedom, and foreign conflicts

What do you think?? I understand this might be a lot to swallow in comparison with our world and the way we see it. It is important that you also understand that since Bhutan has instituted this GNH for measurement of development in the country, it has actually out performed many others in the developed and industrialized world. Also of note is that in a 2007 study on subjective well-being, Bhutan rated 8th out of 178 countries and is the only country to rate in the top 20 with a very low GDP (Gross domestic product).

So why does any of this matter? Well I am not one to speak softly on passionate issues so here it goes.

Don't kid yourself for a minute that this current economic situation we are in is really the issue. This is a huge symptom of an even larger, yet surmountable problem. We have forgotten how to be in relationship; with ourselves, the environment and others. We have created a culture based on consumption (in fact it is a measure of success second only to production) and greed that measures only what is produced (the big daddy of how great we are in our little minds) and used, not the lives that are being negatively impacted because we want raspberries in the middle of winter. What did we think was going to happen?? The second we stopped valuing people, all people, we created this economic disaster. Did you know that the term "growth" in the G8 Countries is equated to destruction? We want more and more and in order to keep up with that, like never saying No to a toddler, we are destroying our world and our relationships at an astonishing rate.

We have got to grow up people! Stop what you are doing and look around. What are you 'consuming' right now that you are pretending has no impact? I challenge you to rate yourself on the GNH scale from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest), then your family or work place. What might need to change to increase your score?

We are in a time where radical change is required and the lie is that we won't be as happy doing it. BS! I bet that we would be happier than ever if could look past our egos and start living from those long lost things called values. Just imagine the time capsule 1000 years from now that reads -

"And there began a shift on the earth where all those that were once on top and sought after, were repositioned to equal status in the world. Radical change began from a place of authentic values and conscious relationship in service of restoring what was lost and reversing the the quotient of human destruction. The most surprising thing of all was that it began with a small and relatively unknown country call Bhutan and their lesson on GNH..."

Together As One

I have just returned from Montreal after attending the International Coach Conference with 1200 other coaches from 43 countries around the world. This was a an amazing experience for me for many reasons.

I have been to a conference of this size before for a home-based business company and it was not the same. The feeling there was more about hype and making money while also trying to focus on helping others. There was an underlying fear about, "How am I going to make this happen when I get home?"

The Coaching conference has a sense of unified strength to it in a peaceful, yet powerful way. It all started in the first 15 minutes....

We began with a Navajo chant. First singing as a group and then in a round, all 1200 voices lifted together in song. The words are simple yet powerful and I continued to sing them in my heart and out loud for 4 days.

When you were born
You cried
And the world rejoiced
Life your life so that
When you die
The world cries and
You rejoice

Hearing 1200 people sing anything simultaneously is cool, but this little song had such impact on a crowd of coaches; people in the work of impact on the world.

Then there were the introductions of the countries. Each country's name was shown on the huge screens going in alphabetical order from Argentina to Venezuela. My personal experience of having a large group of people introduced from countries around the world is in the two previous Olympics my husband Jeff has attended (www.jeffpain.ca). I have found those times very moving. A sign of hope that we can come together in a common game to give our best though competition, not war. As I sat in the huge room and each of the countries was read out loud, the coaches from that country would stand and we in the crowd cheered for every one. I had tears streaming down my face and no idea why at first. Then it hit me. I was, in that moment, part of something much greater than myself. A global movement that came together to learn even more about how to create awareness and unity. This was a group that was going beyond how to get rich in money to how to get rich in our spirits and lives, including the lives of our clients.

I am so proud and moved to be part of a group that is first and foremost about the betterment of people from the inside out. A group that is committed to a greater consciousness and transformation in the world, that we might still have a world to enjoy for centuries to come.

A large focus of our convention was the state of the world from an environmental and economic perspective. I felt truly naive as our first two keynote speakers brought forth the facts of where we are at on the curve and what that means to us. Did you know we are currently consuming the equivalent of 1 and 1/4 worlds?? Did you know that current debt of the world is 60 times larger that the value of what actually exists? This was eye opening for sure!

We had many small and large unscheduled discussions as to what our role as coaches is around the global climate. It seems we collectively decided to have an agenda. Now a coach is not supposed to have an agenda, because that comes from the client. However, I am adopting the agenda of the earth with my clients from now on. I am asking my clients to participate in the longevity of our earth in some way, whether they are individuals or corporations. I can no longer stand by and wait, while doing my part here at home.

Can you imagine the impact on the world of 1200 coaches from 43 countries asking their clients to stand up and play a role in the transformation of the environment and economy of the world? Now that is an awesome group to be part of and an exciting prospect.

What are you willing to do that is even more than you do now? How will you consume less and love the earth more? I have shortened my children's shower times to conserve water (they would stand there for 20 minutes usually) and I am going to cut my material spending by 50% in the next year. I am also going to look for recycling symbols before I purchase anything and use only reusable grocery bags.

I challenge you right now to make a difference!! This world is counting on you.

Feelings and Food - Untangling the Web

This is likely the most personal post I have made to date and have procrastinated for three days in writing because I feel so naked in it all. This is so personal, in fact, I have not told a single sole about this nor have any words left my lips on the topic.

It has been a challenge of mine to really connect with my inner child on a regular basis and begin to hear her and what she needs and wants. I think this is key for me to making different choices and creating intentional behaviour rather than continuing my habitual responses to various stimulus.

I move fast in my life - slow is not a gear I default to. I have made great strides over the years in slowing down in my mind and translating that to my body and life. Still, connecting to my inner self happens mostly in coaching sessions for me.

I was sick last week and chose to take it slow, not work out and rest whenever possible. One day I woke up and was feeling very quiet in my head and my body felt very slow. It was like the volume and speed on everything about me was turned down, and I loved it. The equisite place of noticing all that I was and that around me was really cool! I noticed a very clear connection to my inner child that day and consciously asked her what she needed. She replied quickly, yet softly, that she wanted to feel taken care of and needed rest. That was exactly what I did for the day.

The next day I was feeling more myself and yet I was consciously working on holding that connection to her. I had a client cancel around noon so I treated myself to a yummy lunch. Before I go any further, I need to say that I have always had emotional eating issues. In my early years I new it but I didn't know enough to make the connections as to why and what need I was filling. In my early twenties my eating was pretty out of control, and yet based so much around control. I have been doing really well in the past decade and yet I still know there is an underlying emotional tie to food that I had not yet discovered. I use food to console and reward myself while not going crazy about it. I have always known that I eat and crave empty carbs when I am tired and brushed it off to the physiological need for quick energy when the body is feeling fatigue.

Back to my lunch. I was not overly hungry but hungry enough to eat. After I ordered I was making an internal agreement with myself about how much I was going to eat (I am referring to the ridiculously over-sized portions served at restaurants). I was hearing and feeling how tired my inner child was and wanted her to continue to feel taken care of. My meal arrived and I took a deep breath (breathing deeply while eating helps me to slow down and stay conscious) before digging in. While I was thoroughly enjoying the taste and texture in my mouth, I wondered what it was about food that felt so good, specifically when I was tired. I wondered, not asked, without expecting an answer from anyone, and yet there is was. Just as soon as I finished the last word of my question, there was a clear, loud and concise response. It was as if my inner child showed up at the table with me in all her bold and matter-of-fact ways and said to my face, "It feels like love". I sat in shock staring at the wall and yet not really seeing anything. In all my years of creating conscious relationship with food and my body, I had never heard anything so clear, blunt and so simple.

As I continued to slowly eat and process what had just happened, I made some further connections. When my inner child is tired, she is screaming out for me to slow down, preferably stop, and rest or have a nap (not always possible in the work day but cancelling other engagements and going to bed early is!). I think she got tired of asking because I never listened so she made the connection that instead of truly being taken care of, feeling loved, she would be fed. Not just anything, something tasty, and sometimes lots of it to equate to the lack of true love she was getting. Eating food does stimulate a hormonal response in the body that is a 'feel good' thing, which is why the web of food and feelings starts at a young age. If we never grow past that infantile connection and begin to experience love in relationships, to where we eat only to provide nutrition and energy to our bodies, while providing equal amounts of exercise and rest, the web gets even more complicated and stronger.

I have always known that carb loading in the evening or late at night is just a way of my body saying it needed rest so I would usually go to bed instead of eating. What I didn't realize is that my inner child was speaking to me all that time and I was not hearing her.

I am moving forward with the awareness of how much my inner child wants to feel loved and taken care of. She really does not want food at all, even for a reward. She would rather experience true love. This awareness is profound for me and I am so grateful for the impact this is, and will have on my life. I am grateful for my inner child for showing up so clearly and unmistakably that I could not help but hear her words. I am moving forward embracing her with love and no longer making excuses or substitutions for the real deal.

Aly Pain, CPCC
InnerPiece Life & Relationship Coaching
p. 403-246-2399 f. 403-263-8790 aly@alypain.com www.alypain.com

Stories and Stress

Everything I am to myself and others is made up. Everything you think about me from what you know is also a made up story. We are all doing it all the time about everything and everyone around us including ourselves in relation to our world.

I am realizing more and more the BS (basic stories, of course) that I make up not only stresses me out, it creates distance between me and other people and has me live outside of the moment.

For instance, in a relationship with another coach friend Gord and I, I have a lot of stories. I make up who he is based on what I know and what I don't (oh yes, we all make up stories about what we don't know to fill in gaps). I have stories about who I am in that relationship, what Gord thinks of me and what I think about our relationship. All these stories create my reality and have me be conditioned to stimulus of every kind. My reality is at least 50% made up and yet I hold it at the Truth in order to feel safe and sorted.

“Change your thoughts and change your world.”
~ Norman Vincent Peale

This quote was made even more popular from the movie "The Secret". What if it were possible? I am not just talking about getting new stories, I am talking about going beyond the stories and conditioning.

My friend Gord and I were doing a coaching dyad at a workshop and got to a stuck place in the 10 minute assignment. I put up my hand to ask for clarification. When I was asked what we needed, I said, "Well, Gord and I already know each other really well...". The facilitator looked me in the eye and clearly stated, "That is your problem". You see, it was all the stories that were getting in the way. I needed to come from a place of not knowing in order to access what more was there (the Johari window is a great diagram for this). A place where I could go beyond all my stories about Gord, myself and our relationship. I turned back to look at Gord and felt the tears well up in my eyes. I felt a deep sadness about what I had been missing and the gap I had created. In that moment I crossed the gap to experience a deep peace, love and curiosity about this other being across from me. I really got how we are spiritual beings having a human experience. What a moment!

"What someone else thinks of me, is none of my business"
~ Wayne Dyer

I think this quote really speaks to staying out of the story and being present to myself and others.

Stress is all just stories and conditioning too. I make up all kinds of things about how I am going to feel based on how my day went or how my kids did (or did not :)) behave and what that will say about me. Oh, and I have to clean my house for the play date today or what will other people think?? I make up BS stories all the time that do nothing other than stress me out. So, with this new realization about going beyond the story what is available?

Well, I am sure willing to let go of a bunch of stories. Nothing outside of me matters so much and I feel enormously empowered to fight my perfectionist and all her stories. I want to be in the moment with myself and others and nature. The other day I watched the steam rising, swirling and dancing off my hot tea as the sun beam from my window brought it even more alive. Now that was being in the moment and the story about the state of my kitchen felt galaxies away.

How do you go beyond your stories that stress you out? Start by writing them down or talking them through. You will be amazed how many you have and particularly your emotional reaction to some of them. Choose different stories or better yet, let them go and make it none of your business from here on. Pretend it is all unknown and get curious. I know this will profoundly change my coaching as I now choose a perspective of not knowing anything at all and step more fully into curiosity. Try it on!

Aly Pain, CPCC
InnerPiece Life & Relationship Coaching
p. 403-246-2399 f. 403-263-8790 aly@alypain.com www.alypain.com